I CAN MOONWALK!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
