Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
NoShamevember. You game?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
