Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
