And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
