Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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