I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
