Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
