I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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