It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
