I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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