bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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