toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
