ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
