Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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