Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
