I love black thongs
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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