Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
