every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
