But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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