this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
