I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
