I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
