party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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