Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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