I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
