It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
