How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
