he thought i was a dude.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
