Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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