It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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