Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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