What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
