you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
