quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
