I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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