Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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