he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you win again, gameday.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
