You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
