there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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