i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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