i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
