you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
