I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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