is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
