ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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