STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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