i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
