Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
