Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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