my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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