Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
