i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
