? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
